An "oenologist" ("ee-GNAW-low-gist") is a wine expert. No matter how much we may love our wines, few of us ever get to be worthy of the term. So when we arrive in a new destination on vacation, like Acapulco or Las Vegas, we are easily perplexed by the wine list. We do not see our traditional favorites anywhere, and we can't recognize the names that are there. In a world-class fine dining restaurant in a region with almost no local wines (which is the case in Las Vegas, for example) the challenge is compounded because the list can have hundreds of wines from all over the world. What do you do?
Look for Help. Just as professional explorers always hire local guides when trekking in uncharted territory, you need a local ally. Any restaurant with a good wine cellar will have a wine steward - a sommelier. Place yourself in this person's hands. The owner, if present, may be knowledgeable about the wine cellar, but he or she probably is not totally up-to-date with it. The waiter might know very little about the wines on the list. Perhaps he or she has simply been trained to urge the menu's second cheapest wine, which is almost always the one with the highest profit margin for the house. But if there is no sommelier, your waiter may be your only hope. It is fair to ask first how much he understands about the wine list. Ask if he's tasted the wines. If you think his answer may be a bluff, ask if some other person in the restaurant is very knowledgeable and if he or she wouldn't mind lending a hand.
Declare the Price Range. Whether it's the wine steward or a qualified server, you will not receive useful information until you give some important details. It is not only acceptable -- it is essential -- to declare your price range. Do so by pointing to a price on the wine list that would work for you, saying, "in this range." That part is easy. On rare occasions the waiter may say that he cannot recommend any wine in that price range. This is a ploy to fatten up your bill. Don't fall for it. Ask innocently, "If these wines can not be recommended, then why do you have them on the wine list?" That usually solves that problem.
Say "Red" or "White." Do not say "pink" or "rose." A good restaurant will not have pink options anyway. If you are with someone who insists on a pink wine, order white Zinfandel, which is about as off-color as a good sommelier will tolerate. The norm is that red wines go with stronger flavors, like meats and spicy dishes. Whites go with more delicate flavors like fish, chicken and crème sauces. This is not a law. You can break that convention if you like. You are on vacation after all. Go ahead and have a red with seafood. If you countermand your sommelier or waiter and order a white to go with a spicy or savory dish, be sure it's got enough bite or "zing" to be able to be tasted above the competing flavors. You need to say "red" or "white" in any event, because that is how the wine list is organized: First by color, and then by variety.
Give examples of what you like or what you are thinking about. Though your favorite wine may not be on the wine list, the sommelier will probably recognize it. He will tell you which wines on the list are most similar.
He will steer you away from varieties that are too heavy or too sweet or too puny or too peeked for your taste. If a suggested variety is foreign to you, do not reject it. The sommelier has formed an opinion that you will like the wine, based on what you have already said. If you do not mislead him, he will not mislead you.
When the Wine Arrives. The rest of the process may seem like pure ritual, but every step has a purpose. When the bottle of wine comes to the table:
- Examine the Label. Is it the bottle it was supposed to be? Mistakes happen. You, presumably, are the best judge of what you asked for. Pay attention to winery, variety and vintage. If it's OK, nod. That's all that's required.
- Check the Cork. If the cork is natural, notice whether it is dry or wine-soaked on the inside. (It is likely to have a bit of wine on its surface, and that's OK). A soaked cork warns that the wine may not be all right. ("All right" is a term of art, meaning something like "unobjectionable.") Increasingly corks are made from man-made materials, and thus can not tip you off that the bottle may be "corked." Just make a mental note if the cork is artificial. You don't need to smell it, but you can, if you're curious.
- Taste the wine. If you are responsible for the wine, do not delegate the tasting. Though it's usual to swirl and smell the wine before tasting, this is a wine-taster's technique. For a diner, the tongue is the undisputed expert on whether the wine is correct for a meal. If the wine tastes damp or moldy, it is "corked" -- not fit to drink. If it is too acidic, like vinegar, it is also spoiled. This happens in the "real world" to about one bottle in twelve. If you think the wine is corked, hand the glass to the sommelier. That's all you need to do. A new bottle should be brought right away unless the sommelier disagrees with your judgment.
Have fun inviting Bacchus to come along on your vacation!
Web Sommelier